It’s Pride Week in Boston! So far, I’m spending it in my apartment getting headaches from the backhoes tearing up a parking lot on the next block and the six-year-old boy upstairs stomping around as if his apartment were carpeted with smoldering cigarette butts. I’m also waiting for confirmation that I’ll actually be paid for an editing job, and waiting for information about my dad’s health.
And it’s getting hot. Fortunately, the New Kids on the Block tell me it’s OK to go commando if I use the right toilet paper. I don’t think they really know why men wear boxers and briefs. (Zippers have something to do with it.)
But I promised to be positive about Gay Pride. What am I thankful for this year?
1.) I’m old enough for people to think my lack of a husband is due to ACT UP–era objections to marriage as an assimilationist and patriarchal institution. (That’s not it. At all.)
2.) The website Hotties on the T! is a thing.
3.) Gay bars in Boston have Quiet Hours for people who don’t look good in tight T-shirts. It’s just tough to be productive when I’m drunk by 4 p.m. every Monday.
4.) There is so much on TV now that no one expects me to watch the shows with gay characters.
5.) When I want to experience a vibrant gay neighborhood, Montreal is just a few hours away.
6.) I know all the sassy words that are acceptable in Words with Friends.
7.) The “dating” app Scruff makes it possible for me to pre-emptively give dirty looks to guys in my building who would ignore me if I texted them.
8.) As a member of the LGBT community, I personally know several DJs who play music I can stand, and several actors who aren’t trying to live out Entourage in real life.
9.) My Facebook feed is full of fantastic photography. And I’m mostly referring to flowers and architecture.
10.) Trivia contests are a low-cost, no-fuss alternative to circuit parties.