Gothamist has posted a handy list of things that keep New York City residents awake at night. No. 57 was my favorite when I lived in Washington Heights.
Here is my supplemental list from my current residence in Malden:
- Orange Line trains that keep rumbling after the subway is supposed to be closed for the night.
- Either a small dog who can't stop barking or a person who can't stop rubbing Windex onto every glass surface in his or her apartment. (I can't figure out what unit it's coming from.)
- Anything that sounds remotely like the vibration of my cellphone, suggesting that someone has just died in the middle of the night.
- Something that smells like burnt coffee evidently being manufactured nocturnally, in huge quantities, somewhere upwind.
- Trucks delivering food to the Stop & Shop a block away.
- The nagging sense that I've forgotten to lock my front door.
- The nagging sense that I've forgotten to get a job, get married, and develop a swimmer's physique.
- False fire alarms (about once a month), featuring a woman's voice reminiscent of the Two Minutes' Hate in "1984" or any Republican campaign ad. As I recall, she announces: "Attention residents! There has been a report of an emergency in the building. Please leave the building. We have achieved a glorious victory over Eastasia! Do not take the elevator! Liberals want to use your tax dollars to put out other people's fires!" By this point, I'm listening to my iPod as I trudge down to the lobby.
- The seven naps I took before bedtime.