Republicans, taxes, and defense-attorney politics

I suppose I should be paying more attention to stories about how Washington is going to deal with the federal deficit and debt ceiling, but it's all such a predictable pantomime. (No, "kabuki theater" is not a more apt term.)

Is there anything newsworthy about a Republican leader saying that "tax hikes are off the table"? Why would I read a story past that point when it's just going to regurgitate talking points from the Reagan era?

The modern Republican Party is like a criminal-defense attorney with one client: rich people who want lower taxes. Most GOP candidates and office holders are paid to make the case for tax cuts, and their professional ethics prevent them from ever arguing otherwise.

To a Republican, there is no such thing as an ideal tax rate, any more than there is an ideal prison sentence for a defense attorney's client. The client is always innocent and taxes are always too high.

Wherever tax rates are at the moment, they must be lower. So when the government runs a surplus, it's taking in too much money and is morally obligated to cut taxes. When the government runs a deficit, it means that it's spending too much, and the only way to cut spending is to "starve the beast" (i.e., cut taxes). When the economy is good, higher wages and more consumer spending result in higher tax revenues, which means it's only fair for cut taxes for individuals. When the economy is bad, taxes must be cut in order to get people to spend more on consumer goods.

This kind of reasoning is logical (and moral) if you think that there's a counterforce that's relentlessly and unthinkingly fighting for higher taxes. And I'm sure that a lot of people think of "big government" this way.

It's true that certain liberal interest groups also operate on the defense-attorney model. I'm frequently hit up by organizations arguing for more government spending on education, aid to the poor, environmental protection, etc., and they never mention what they consider an appropriate level of spending. They just attack politicians who support spending cuts, no matter what the practical effects of those cuts would be. And they do so knowing that they're always matched by anti-tax groups continuously arguing for spending cuts.

Unfortunately, the Democratic Party does not actually play the part of the opposing counsel to the GOP in this contest. Outside of a few inner-city areas, most Democrats go to great lengths to appear "responsible" and moderate, and they run like hell from the "tax and spend label." They're like prosecutors who agonize over prison conditions and take any opportunity to spare poor souls from the slammer. Or, to Fox News viewers, the Democratic Party is like the hapless, clueless district attorney who lost to Perry Mason every single time on TV. ("Isn't it true, sir, that my client is paying more in taxes than ever before?")

So we know that any negotiations between the two parties will end with the Democrats getting all squishy and offering a weak-tea plea bargain to the GOP. If they're lucky, the Republicans will graciously accept some ridiculously generous deal (a couple of loopholes closed but no threat of higher tax rates), and the relieved Democrats will slink home without having to argue in court.

And we lucky Americans can get back to 24-hour coverage of Sarah Palin's bus.

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